The Undiscussed Topic of Mental Health

Writer: Shruti Tekwani, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Certified Coach, Choice Theory & Reality Therapy Trainer

In a world recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic, where does mental health fit in? Author Harry J. Johnson once said, “Your body is an amazing creation, capable of performing great wonders, but you can destroy that miraculous machine’s potential with an overdose of stress.” We often forget that stress comes in several forms. When we are mentally stressed, we are doing our body a disservice by taking away its capacity of healing.

During Curaçao’s lockdown, a number of things happened to our bodies, and in turn our minds were also affected. We were given permission to stay home and not required to fulfil our obligations. No matter our age or contribution to society, we were asked to “put life on hold”. Children stayed home from school, adults worked from home if possible. We were given orders to let ourselves go, in a way. From cancelling self-care appointments to not exercising, we had to get used to a different way of living. Some of my clients even expressed relief at being given a break from their hectic lives. They no longer were obliged to spend time with extended family members they didn’t get along with or engage in self grooming since they had nowhere to go. It felt a bit freeing to some. However, as the uncertainty kept being extended, the discomfort started to escalate. At first it was 2 weeks, then another 2 more. The regular updates just highlighted the fact that we didn’t know when the crisis would end.

Although I haven’t heard anyone describe the lockdown as “vacation”, I know some took advantage of being home for the extended period. Some learned new languages, built new skills, tried different recipes, and re-connected with family members. Many have shared how they spoke to friends and family worldwide who they hadn’t talked to in years. Integrated with the panic, some found solace, and attempted to feel in control, as doing what felt good served as a kind of emotional balm to a very rocky and unprecedented situation. For a while, the whole world was on the same playing field. Everyone was on lockdown, missing life and what it normally offers. It was a time of unity and understanding, and we automatically had so much in common. A number of times, I heard “We are all in the same boat”, though even then, I knew this wasn’t true.

While we are all in the same storm, we are all in different boats. This statement resonates with me for a few reasons. As a mental health professional, I get to see people at their most vulnerable, when they are not at their best. I saw all around me that even though this virus leveled the playing field for a lot, we still had different tools available in order to cope. Some of us had supportive families to quarantine with, while others were in abusive situations severely exacerbated by the current reality and the increased amounts of alcohol being consumed. Without the luxury of a home gym, some felt the ramifications of not being able to work out their stress. Every person had a different reality surrounding them, and therefore, required different methods and guidance for coping. When dealing with mental health, we each need to assess how we are adjusting to the new normal and reach out for help to better handle stressful situations.

And then suddenly, things changed. Curaçao started opening up, leaving the rest of the world behind. Thanks to the swift action of our government to contain the virus, it was safe for us to resume a normal-ish life. The big question that plagues all of us is “What now?” What happens now that things are open, that we can head back to work and socialize again? Will things ever be the same? When our borders do open completely, will the tourists come? Will life ever be the same again?

It is clear that people’s mental health suffered during this time of quarantine. They were forced to face demons as they either spent a lot of time alone or they spent time doing things they didn’t enjoy doing. Granted, it was a time for reflection where some of us got to decide how we spent our time moving forward, but for others, it was a time spent in “survival mode” and not much choice was given in day to day activities. When things opened up, I heard from a few people that they weren’t ready for it. Being in a cocoon that they had built for themselves was starting to feel comfortable, and drastically going back to “normal” was a bit too much. Not only that, but for some people they aren’t able to go back. Restaurants are open and entertainment is being offered, but what about people whose livelihood depends on tourism or on large gatherings? What happens to your mental health when the rest of the island is rejoicing about getting back to their lives, but you don’t have anything to get back to because your souvenir shop is obsolete for now? Not only are you suffering financially, physically, and emotionally, you are likely also suffering mentally.

Life as we knew it will never be the same and we all have been impacted by COVID-19. As privileged as I feel to be in a place that is relatively safe, I grieve for the items lost. The first time I said to a friend that I was grieving my old life, I got a funny look. We so often associate grief with death that it is easy to forget about disenfranchised grief, which is a term coined by Kenneth J. Doka and is defined by grief that is unacknowledged or undefined by social norms.

While there are no magic words to help ease that pain and because it is so individualized, the best advice I can offer is to pay attention to yourself. This pandemic changed some of our identities. Some of us need to look for different lines of work, some need to think about relocating or giving up parts of the life they liked. When there is a change in identity, it is so important to listen to what your body and mind are telling you. Learning about yourself and what grounds you are invaluable at a time like this. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I spend a lot of time thinking about what it is I can control versus what is not in my control. While the pandemic or decisions of our government are not in our control, how we take care of ourselves and respond to outside stimulus is very much in our hands.

People have said we were in a financial crisis even before the pandemic, but I will say that we were also in a mental health crisis before the pandemic. If this is the time for change, let’s also change how we view our mental health. Let’s ease up on the stigma and the idea that only the weak seek out help, stop blaming and shaming people for asking for help, and finally support people when they are blatantly asking for guidance. Mental health does not equal the absence of mental illness. Therefore, all of us are at risk of not practicing good mental health. And what does it mean to practice? It means doing what feels right for us, fulfilling our basic needs and recognizing that we will all do that differently. At the end of the day, the one person we spend our whole lives with is ourselves. Shouldn’t we treat ourselves better than anyone else? It is the logical way to survive post COVID-19.

 

How do you do this? What does it mean to practice mental health? During chaos, we tend to panic and forget the fundamental basics. Bringing attention to coping tools is now more relevant than ever. Here’s what you can do:

  • Get enough sleep. If you are craving more than normal, that is ok. Listen to your body when it is asking for something.
  • Exercise, even if it is not typically what you do. It is the best natural antidepressant out there.
  • Make sure you are feeding yourself with good nutrition. It helps your brain functionality and that helps how you feel too. Your brain cannot do its job if it is not nourished properly.
  • Get out in nature. When the mind is not calm, nature is one of the best ways to get grounded.
  • Connect with people. This has been a very isolating time, and yet there are ways to connect with people you wouldn’t normally have time for.
  • Practice gratitude. There is a lot of research out there that says the art of gratitude can help us feel better emotionally. Being thankful for what we have access to automatically helps us feel better.
  • Use the time to try new things, get creative, reflect on purpose, and check in on the level of happiness in life and profession.
  • Don’t feel pressured to do what others are doing. If you are feeling differently than the people around you, it’s ok! It’s also ok not to be ok.

Contact information:

shruti@thrivecorp.org

Resources:

www.thrivecorp.org

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/index.shtml

https://mhanational.org/covid19

 

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